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I am it.  I am the balance to this world I’ve created whether I like it or not.

Let me tell you a story…

I am the most introverted, antisocial, but loyal being you will meet.  (Yes, I’ve realized that it’s okay to build yourself up.  I AM loyal.)

I love my husband.  I love my children.  I love my friends.  And sometimes, I love getting dolled up and dressed up to forget that my days are mainly filled with leggings and vacuuming and laundry and wondering why everything I try to “homeschool” ends up seeming lackluster.

I went out tonight with some girlfriends.  I put on makeup and did my hair and wore my favorite heels.  Yes, I’ll choose heels EVERY opportunity that I can.  (Take note, new friends.  I did once live a life that involved looking cute, dressing up, and wearing heels daily.)

I went downtown with my wildest, and yet most trustworthy, friend I have here in our new state.  Wild, because you never know what to expect from her, but trustworthy, because I know she’d drop everything for me in a second if I asked her to.  

We went downtown with a whole group of neighborhood gals.  We forgot, for a moment, that the entire world needs our attention.  Or, at least, we tried to.

But here’s the thing… (You know there’s always a “thing.”)

The lines were long, and the music was loud.  The weather was cold, and the people? Well, let’s not even go there. 

The country bar was barely country (according to my standards), and no where did I see a place that looked like a good wine bar.

Oh, and did I mention, we’re all moms and wives.  So amid the loud and the cold and the crazy, there was also children at home puking and little dancer girls at home wondering when mommy would come tuck them in. There was also poker dealing by the teenager boy at home, but that’s a story for another time.  

So, I now sit here…on my couch.  I’m enjoying wine from the comfort of my couch in the warmth of my home.  Everyone is tucked sound asleep in bed and my mind is finally REALLY free.  My anxiety is gone because I am here. Where I belong.

You see, that “break” we moms all secretly search for?  It’s never really a break.  The whole time I was gone, my mind was anywhere but where I was. 

Because I am the balance.

I am the weight that keeps this whole family in check.  We all play different roles.  That’s how it works.

My adult kiddo?  She’s the real.  The teenage boy?  He’s the quirky.  The dancer girl?  She’s the entertainment and the sweetness.  Hubby?  He’s the rock and the glue that holds this all together.

And me?  I am the balance.

And I’m okay with that.  I don’t need the high heels or the downtown drama. I have everything I need right here.

Be grateful (for the everyday), water your own grass,

…and drink coffee.

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2 Comments

  1. Such true words, even when you are a Nana its always still there. Thank you for your words and knowledge. ❤️

    1. I’m quite sure that this thing we do where we hold together our worlds never really ends. It extends even further for you since you have grand babies to worry about. But it’s pretty wonderful too. That’s why we do it. 😉

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