On this Earth, there are many different types of moms. There are moms who pack special lunches with heartfelt notes, moms who work three jobs to make ends meet, and moms who make everyone’s child feel as special as their own. There are moms who make schedules and organize everyone’s life, moms who put gourmet dinners on the table (spoiler alert, that mom is NOT me), and moms who are always on time.
There are moms who plan extravagant birthday parties and moms who show up late and wrap the gift in the car before going inside said party. There are moms who have ten children, moms who have one child, and moms who have lost children. There are moms who help raise others’ children and moms who give their child to another because it means they are giving them the best life in the best way they know possible.
While you may know moms like this and even relate to one of these descriptions, YOU are much more than any of these alone.
YOU are a dance mom.
Being a dance mom is not for the faint of heart. It takes patience when your child is frustrated in between costume changes that must happen in 30 seconds between numbers. It takes tough love when you see your child give anything less than their best and call them on it. It takes a loud voice to cheer from the audience and silent tears to cry when they fall on stage. It takes money. Good Lord, does it take money. But you give it up willingly because you know that you are investing in the future of their character.
Being a dance mom comes with a set of unwritten rules. Always have hairbands and bobby pins handy. Don’t talk to your daughter right before she goes on stage. Don’t take a picture as she comes off stage. Don’t bring snacks that leave fingerprints. Don’t question her taste in solo music. Don’t spray hairspray on the Marley. Don’t expect to eat, sleep, or travel at normal times of the day. Don’t show up late. Don’t leave too early. And above all else, don’t let your daughter see you fall apart. Despite your headache and your exhaustion and your anxiety, don’t let your dancer see you exude anything except encouragement.
The unwritten rules are always the hardest.
You spend weeknights chauffeuring your dancer to and from the studio and weekends sitting in loud performing arts centers trying to keep track of what number they are on. You buy costumes and shoes and tights and bras and countless other things your dancer needs to be put together on the stage for two and a half minutes. In addition to chauffeur, you take on the role of seamstress, cosmetologist, and marketing director. YOU are the glue that holds this whole thing together.
I see you.
But tonight, as your dancer packs her dance bags and you double check it by playing 20 Questions (or by verifying with your own two eyes), remember that these moments are fleeting. Remember that although the busy schedules of rehearsals and performances are exhausting, they won’t last forever. The weekends spent cheering on your dancer will eventually come to an end. Soon, they won’t need you to do their hair or their make-up or even to drive them to the dance studio. Soon, the pictures and videos and memories are all we will have of this crazy time.
So, this weekend, I encourage you to embrace your dance mom era. Laugh, cry, and break some of those unwritten rules. Take the pictures of your daughter rolling her eyes at you because you’ve already taken 20. Let your daughter see you fall apart and cry with her if the day doesn’t go as she planned. Jump up and down and scream with her when it does. Be really daring and try to give her advice before she goes on stage. Bring dangerous snacks (and Tide wipes just in case). Break the unwritten rules. (Just don’t be late. You don’t want to break that rule unless you want to unleash the wrath of a studio owner who is functioning on just as little sleep as you are.)
Besides, you won’t want to miss even one second of the action because your daughter is going to steal the show up on that stage.
To all the dance moms out there, I see you, and you are amazing.
Be grateful, water your own grass…
And drink coffee. Lots of coffee.